let's play a game

come back summer!

i'm tired of being the albino rhino

i need to resume the form of the....tan peliCAN

who's down with m-a-t-h?

are you down with fractions?

you know who is?

whatevs...

outtiez | zeittuo

tell me why

nerd status...

but i heard 'bye bye bye' today

ooh wee nostalgia.

especially since douglas

had a boy band obsession (but that's DL).

and let's keep up the asian dance theme:

o, m pokora...

you know M Pokora?

he's from France...and works with Timbaland

so essentially, a french Justin Timberlake biter

oooooh...she's danjjeroseeeeee

sounds like my homies, menudo

except better.

supa sick wid it

home sick today... guess i'll be able to catch up on some

planet earth. for real real.

so the real news of the day is KABA MODERN-

this UC Irvine dance crew that is KILLIN IT.

this is, honestly, one of the best routines i've ever seen.

it's really nice- so WATCH IT [there's some OASIS at 3:40, christopher]

and they won 2nd place at the world hip hop championships 2007

AND they're on America's Best Dance Crew.

DANG. who done said asians can't dance

the bar has been raised, dance ministry. i have high hopes.

and also, on the Dance crew website they have this picture:

and if you can't read the caption, it says:

"Like any competition, the audition brought out some crazies"

well... at least you're on the world wide web, crazy lady.

outtiez | zeittuo

'when it's okay not to pay'

i apologize for butchering this joke over the weekend but i was laughing for a good 40, maybe 30, probably 5 seconds.

this is from a column in Esquire magazine, entitled When It's Okay Not to Pay

8) If, between the primi and the secondi, she reveals that she was once a man.

oh shoot

JUBILIeve in music?

hecka deck update today-

our homegirl, tina fey will begin 

ada's birthday

ope! money shot of the window

ada...hugging the wall...and a box of cake

glenda dippin her feet into a whole lots of bunbun sweet urine

i messed up the powder sugar A...and got cut from the kitchen

messin with me is like slow dancing in a burning room suckaz

satchurday january 26th 2008

fake DSLR skills

chow brothers

oh jamison...eating from the pink carton box.

hold up...

runs in the blood.

chugging tampico with an iron-clad esophagus.

OUTTIEZ|ZEITTUO

the hipster handbook

my friends- i have discovered the Hipster Handbook

you're link to the life of

the trendies...such as the cloverfield crew

and the ghetto quakers. 

in case you're eyes aren't hipster enough to read that,

cool=deck

in hipster speak.

usage: master samuel's blog is hecka deck.

and now we turn to urbanoutfitters.com for the

latest in deck clothes.

DECK

stripes- one is in a different color!

CLASSAY/CLASS A

triple 5 soul jacket...o i wish i had money.

QUESTIONABLE

wha...

generation X

the mutants are coming

time to hide the valuables...

let's work it

i realize my last post's picture may have misled you all to believe

that i was actually large...

a reminder

but i'm actually just in charge.

"reveal that sessiness, master samuel!"

"if you insist"

don't cha....

let's work it

so we all know i've been workin on my fitness...

like these grade A chicas:

whassup thunder thighs...

so at fitness usa they measure you every 30 days

and i think i've been a member for about a month...

but i've only really gone about 8 times. and lemme tell you -

the Weigh In Judgment Day was killer...like The Biggest Loser Result Day killer...

first i swear my waist is not 45 inches around...surriously. ridiculous lies meant to make me starve myself and spend all my time in that chlorine-stanking dungeon.

but i've def been eating more than usual...

i think my mind says "yo. i'm a member at Fitness USA...i can eat 

ben & jerry's and paninis all day long. 'cause i got it like that"

but forreal, i gots to watch my intake. 

and then i'm put through this really intense workout

and it's not even that intense but i'm weak, man. 

and i'm showering and my arms are so weak and lifeless that as i'm shampooing

they go limp and start falling down mah face.

so i gotta like paw at my face to keep my arms from slipping

all the way down.

the pain i go through for a clean scalp. 

...

i know you think i'm sessy.

ooook....i should probably start my homework.

catch you later beezies!

shoutout to king timmy lee-- my middle school audience.

is that something to be proud of?

normally not...but timmy has also got it like that.

livin on a prayer

this kid is BOSS

he sweats and is strange...and that's why he's my american idol

today i woke up and my mom brought me along to 

borders.

you know what's a fire hazard?

the FOBs that read graphic novels in the borders aisles.

they need to either purchase that maturrial and read

it in their own homes, or get up and leave.

jk, to all you graphic novel-reading people out there.

amazing race finale last night

lots of homework today

i've run out of material...

out.

help us // it's still alive

saw cloverfield. cloverfield monster was supposed to

look like this:

like a fatty humpback whale mutant homey.

in the movie it looked like a cricket with a deformed arm

hanging from it's tummy. 

but you know what's really freaky? Giant Isopods

they look like rollie-pollie/naked mole rat hybrids

and they're huge! like could be your pet, but it

might end up eating you or your dog, kinda huge.

ahh! this one's on the loose...crawling outta its cage

all like Shamu and whatnot

oh...it's freaky

happy birthday, douglas

o, douglas...o, tatiana.

now you're 20. and you don't even read this.

go play your games

macbook (no) air

so for all the non-nerds out there, apple released it's new macbook air. 

we were watching the Guided Tour in english today...gotta say i'm not that impressed.

first it's way expensive and i didn't like that they took out the CD drive.

how am i going to watch 30 rock season 1, apple? Tell me, steve jobz.

that said, if i ever get $1799, i'll get one.

maybe i can make money selling...

delicious paninis!

and here is mine.

i wish i had a lightbooth like christopher's so i could

take sessy pictures of my sandwich.

but it's pretty good.

out.

also macbook Air

No Air? 

Air is HOT, son. "no air" is gonna climb the charts soon.

american idol tonight

doc sha na na

mystery of the world #94

listen for the "doc sha na na"

meaning?

slurred 'des ti ny ny?'

'dot shop nuh-uh?'

'stop tryna asdf?'

mysterious

okay one more prediction

bleeding love- leona lewis.

gonna be BIG.

take you thar

so far, my song predictions have yet to come true... but

don't worry. i was listening to 'glamorous' in november

when it got hot in the summer and now, Take you There,

which is #3 on iTunes, was my jam in august.

so don't lose faith...it'll just take a couple months

'rehab' and 'no air'... keep fighting.

but this screencap from the Take You There music vijjeo....

sean kingston is big.

his "shawty" is not. 

that's all really. out.

crash course on class

yo, readers! this post's theme is: class

item 1: 

there is a lice outbreak at urban....and still the infected come to school?

classless

item 2:

i get a haircut...after going to the gym. meaning sweaty hair...mybad, neon shade..mybad

classless.

(although i do wonder if it's awkward for barbers when they give haircuts to sweaty, dandruff, smelly-haired people. are they forbidden from saying anything? or do they have to keep it a secret. well at the orthodontist one time, i had these dry lips and the nurse said to me 

'you gotta get some chapstick, brah')

moving on.

item 3:

homeboy barber LINES ME UP...without me asking. i've

avoided being lined up for the longest time- i love my irregular, nasty-looking hairline. now i look like i am permanently wearing a helmet.

classless.

that's all!

in other news, i heard the most rockin' mix on 94.9!

AND you can download them! fo free!

so look out for leslie perez's 5 o'clock mix on 1-11-08.

out. sorry no pictures.

ninja presence/presents

remember that ninja hoodie i blogged about

a while back? well first it went "out of stock"

both online and in stores...

but now it seems to be back! 

it isn't listed in the catalogue...but i bookmarked

the page and it shows up...

mysterious. but now i don't really want to pay $70

for a hoodie...unless it's really worth it.

and here's MY picturez of the day

either after chris pushed me into broom closet and ate

all the lady fingers in my face at thanksgiving dinner...

or when he scratched my face with tinfoil....

r.i.p. richmond albertsons. you will be loved.

cindy, me, and vincent at 2004 (?) ms camp.

wow.

In this pic i am just....

....so freakin' tan

out.

the deets

i guess those prison issue hi-tops are only in boy sizes....

for NOW.

oh snapski!

it's Vanessa Man Hudgens with a 'stache wearing an ultra-trendy hoodie.

it's ultra-trendy because it makes the wearer look like a woman... think about it.

tha wish list

even though christmas just came, there are so many things to get on my quest for trendiness...

save me.

number one.

prison issue hi-tops

i don't know if they're too fem, or juvenile, or sessy...but they speak to me.

also that color is "walnut"

can i rock the walnut?

number two.

the herringbone jacket

looks kinda plain here but it's supposed to have herringbone pattern...

could work. 

it's at zumiez...should bring along michael chai to stonestown.

outties.

menudo

douglas watches menudo. 

douglas showed me menudo....menudo is alright

menudo is latin boy band.

menudo does covers.

menudo sings 'because of you'

menudo sings 'let me love you'

hol' up! menudo draynks tampico? why would one ever do that....unless they were forced to

tampico is for savs

that's why mtv lets you download menudo songs fo free

Keep it PG

had choir baby shower for clifton today

but first, a warning from master jasper:

and on that note, here's jacko sucking on a plastic nipple

jasper always on the prowl

(you gotta double click on this one)

connie growl-smiles and vincent makes a face i've never seen him do before...welcome to 2008

it's okay to fear

still attached after the game- you gots to ween, y'all!

and one last farewell

double click this one too and find the PG

came home and took a 3 hour nap- ooh wee

my mom called it a "party hangover" from aunt's 50th last night-

maybe pictures later. i don't even know if i took any

but there was some spectacular asian dancing last night. the electric slide never felt so right.

school tomorrow....out.

thanks, leaders!

recognize

the league of extraordinary gentleman

memorize this.

darryl

amanda m. jones

black mamba

copperhead

sweet urine

pictures later. 

2 songs that are about to happen

my predictions:

no air- jordin sparks & chris brown

rehab- rihanna

"gretchen...

...I'm sorry for laughing at you the time you got diarrhea at Barnes & Noble. And I'm sorry for telling everybody about it. And i'm sorry for bringing it up again now."

so true. so true.

when i grow up...

....i want to have a faux-hawk like maddox and this dude:

and perform like these two:

NOT these two:

2007

here is the past year in some photos.

in january, we finished remodeling our kitchen

and changed the hallways from carpet to hardwood

de-weeded the backyard

went camping for a week in Joshua Tree desert...where it snowed

had dad's 50th birthday party

and he blew some candles

went to lincoln prom with adi

was in mission in the mix 

i'm the one standing up in the middle with the black shirt

and jeans on

went to the all-star game

caught the midnight premiere of harry potter IV

gave winchell a cake

served in KCDC

went to camp

saw this

went on vacation to hawaii

and ate

ate some more

ate in a polo

took pictures

got nekkid

and then ate some more

was in prison break musical

was a fobilicious mad-eye moody for halloween

had mom's 50th birthday party

posed with Santa G-mama

thanksgiving dinner-d

went to kev/viv's wedding

got together for some christmas parties

and opened some stuff

get ready for 08, yo!

out.