panic! in the thizzco take III // boulevard of broken car 2

update:

 the volvo has broken again.

the scene:

horseman, christopher, and i are making our way

to this Old Navy sale that jacko told us about-

fiddy percent off, yo!

so we are on Junipero Serra and all of a sudden

i feel a lurch and i go "did anyone else feel that?"

and no one did. but then when i begin to press on

the gas pedal, the car isn't accelerating.

and i see my speedometer slowly decreasing.

i can't get into the right lane/shoulder

so i'm about to make a left onto a less a crowded street

and then the '87 volvo dies....in the middle of the left turning lane.

so i try to restart the car...and nothing happens

and then after the 2nd try it starts to smell like explosion.

so i call the father, who calls the towtruck company

and we wait for mommapoppa to come save us.

so in the 45-minute stranded adventure, we browsed

through the volvo's CD collection (sisqo, unlabeled CDs, etc)

and endure the rolling-eyes of haters who have the go around me.

so eventually my parents come and then they tell me to switch cars with them...

so the tow-truck came and they still let us go shopping

bottom line.... old navy sale is the villain.

boo old navy except for their 12 dollar sweatshirts! holla.

out.

hopefully there's a new car on the horizon

big girl...you are beautiful

in honor of mika, here's a fatty post 

TUESDAY DECEMBER 25, 2007

me and home-skillet

g-mama in the uggs she got for christmas

(G-mama: "oh UGG? they're the same company

that makes my cellphone!"

me: "papa, that's LG")

the christmas prime-rib

diva-status

fast forward

THURSDAY  DECEMBER 27, 2007

Questionable...Christopher's true colors

don't mess with his man

Questionable....'you're appreciated'...?

really?

my favorite

questionable....Nevin checkin' out miss alicia keys

the trunchbull

Questionable....Chi thought the surprise baby shower was

formal. so did i

questionable

ahh the perfect picture

except half of judy's face is m.i.a.

big girl, YOU are beautiful

the g-mama

q: are pandas violent? a: YES

went downtown with the family today...

saw national treasure II.

for those who have seen it - page 47?!

and then was introduced to the wonders of....
KUNG FU PANDA

here's the trailer, but i highly suggest you go to the official website and check out the trailer in HD...classic

also Jack Black in "Be Kind Rewind" looks like a winner

today is a jack black day...

i'm gonna go watch Nacho Libre

but get ready jack, cause tomorrow is a Jesus Day

my bad....

teñorita in the house!

finale

i know i've been posting too many youtube vijjeos 

but this one's the LAST...for a while

then we'll get back to my life.

but why

it's a bunch of whoville children

take some notes, winchelljeffreycindy

tengo una pregunta

are panda bears violent?

what if i just want a warm hug from one?

alas, i'll settle for pandog

i said SING suckaz

you been keeping up with 'clash of the choirs'?
nick lachey's choir rehearsing

which translates to this on stage


and i said...
CHECK IT

which translates to this onstage:

ghetto/burma/filipino/you's a.... SUPERSTAR

last night i had another admissions event at school

and someone brought some food from Burma Superstar for potluck

oh man. soooo good. i've never been there myself... one day... (i will leave this body)

and then today my mother hails me to the kitchen to watch the ellen show

because there was this filipino girl that ellen found on youtube

singing....

she was funny.

here is a recap:

Filipino Performa Girl (FPG) starts walking away from the designated stage area...

presumably without anyone noticing because all the camera men begin scurrying to move out of her path....

FPG on the move....stealing ellen's spotlight

Ellen is not pleased

Then FPG did this crazy move... the microphone was in her right hand, she sang a big note and during the rest, she threw it up and caught it with her left hand.

crazy! hook this girl up with a gig.

half day tomorrow

freedom

janice

movin' on from grape lady

here is fat kid (this is messed up. and sad. and kinda funny...but in a "oh shoot this is funny when it shouldn't be" kinda way)

i can't breathe

you need to wait till 52 seconds

gimme gimme more, gimme more, gimme gimme maury

get ready for this....

wait for this one....

gotta wait for 0:36

direct quote: "that's right...i'm a playa. but that's cool...'cause i got it like that"

ooh wee. out.

de-fendi yoSELF

my dad comes home with a fendi beanie on...

and originally i'd only heard of fendi from mean girls. because regina george has 4 fendi purses.

but a quick google search reveals that fendi is

fancy.... their homepage has a picture of a woman

in a fur coat. that's what we call 'flossy'

expect more, pay less // i expected less, i got [gimme] more

went to target today.

good stuff there, but the cashier was 

a wee bit... QUESTIONABLE.

so he had this very soft voice and he looked like a mix of

Allan Frias, Anthony Anderson, and King Kong.

so that.

+

+

this dirty, faded, red weave

and it all equaled something like this....

he was great. gave me a gift receipt.

out.

panic! in the thizzco take II//trauma center//boulevard of broken cars

what a freaking eventful hour and a half.

it starts out like this:

it is the hour of 5 o'clock...dark in the city by the bay.

the volvo was at the uncle's auto-shop

so my mom and i went to pick it up.

she was going to follow me home but

as i am driving down geary blvd,

the steering wheel starts smoking and it 

feels like it's about to lock and i feel

the engine dying out.

so i pull over and park in this church's 

driveway....i thought my mom was driving

right behind me but she actually got held up

by a red light.

so i stood outside my car and when she drove by i was waving 

at her to get her attention but she didn't even see me.

oh yeah, did i mention my cell phone died? AHHH

so i'm like "alright, sammy. let's get it"

so i lock my car and, like all desperate freaks, run

after the Lexus.

...and as i raced against time, the banded pools of streetlight

did nothing except intensify my flight. meeting the doom

encapsulated by each red light, my spirit sank...yet my heart-rate rose...

so i make it a couple of blocks before i realize it's too late.

so my options are

a) walk 5 blocks to christopher's house and knock on his door to ask to use his phone

b) walk into some store and plead to use their phone

c) run away.

luckily, there was a pay phone (i know, right) across the street

and i just so happen to have a dollar in quarters in my wallet!

i tell you, baby jesus was with me.

so i call my mom's cell phone...no answer

i call home...no answer

then i called my mom's cell phone again...and answer!

...and as i stood there, cold and wretchedly alone, the grease from

the public pay phone smeared my ear in a dense, grimy coating

which suited my inner feelings of desperation, sadness, and hunger...

so i told her about everything so she came back and called my uncle/car wizard.

apparently he cleaned out my car's turbo drive

and the smoking was normal (....)

so i drive home.

ooh wee...here's a map of my adventures!

(you can double click for a bigger version)

and all i wanted was to retrieve

my beloved, rusty volvo.

out.

aww yea take 3

have you heard?

it's christmas time!

the tree

my favorite pickle ornament

santa's portal

my mom's snowman pets

and.

the SET UP

oh shoot

the countdown: 15 days

out.

what time is it?

you have 16 days to find this and put it underneath

my tree.

what the shrek...

i'll do fuller post later.

went downtown and once courtney hooks it up with

them photos, i'll hook YOU up.

okay here's a game

What Doesn't Belong?

this is an Entertainment Weekly Article

on the record label "murder inc."

In case you missed it.

Vanessa Carlton on Murder Inc.?

i guess her stint in 

'white chicks' helped her out.

exquizz

so today i took the bus home

and as i was sitting there, cold

and wet, moisture seeping into the

hems of my levis

i saw this really cute lil kid

he looked like a little monkey.

and he was very excited to be on the bus

he was probably like 6 years old.

so anyway i was thinking

"wow this kid is cute...but in a couple

of years he gon' be ugly"

like right now he's a lil' chimpy chimpanzee

but in a couple years

he gon' look like a full fledged ape.

also my fat-lard butt stopped by

Arizmendi Bakery for some snacks:

Portobello/Shitake Mushroom pizza

with a ginger-garlic vinigrette and parmesan cheese.

ooh-freakin-wee.

ok. gettin the christmas tree tonight

holla holla, gon' be exquizz.

and if you don't know

what exquizz is, look it up on 

urbandictionary. 

and if it isn't defined

yet on urbandictionary,

consider yo'self a TREND-SETTAH

out.

panic! in the frisco

oh no

i got an email from ucla today.

on the application i, for fun, clicked

on design/media arts as a major just

because it sounded cool (i'm not interested

in that, really). 

and then they send me an email telling me

that before ucla in general can review my application

i need to send them a portfolio.

which is bad. since i don't have one.

unless you count my doodles

on the church bulletin (sike...)

i knew i should've just clicked

undeclared.

they didn't even say you need

to submit a portfolio

on the website...

so i gots to talk to the college counselor.

oye. out.

i remember when...

do you faithful few remember this?

it lived in the right column...

until i killed it a few days ago

i wanted to put another cool/cooler photo

but that one doesn't work! i get a "name of file is invalid" message

every time i try to upload it!

and now i can't even upload my precious patronus-stag

and stunner shade verticular column picture!

save me, tech crew!

out. with a tear. :(

Vamos al ZOO

animals are pretty exciting!

look, a giraffe in a truck! it's like in Mighty Joe Young

then this panda looks distressed

like it's a victim of Personal BOundary Violation....

this is actually pretty sad. this tiger was in this zoo in China with some 

other tigers and they were underfed...so the other tigers ate this one!

horrible

so for an antidote, here's a baby armadillo!

so tiny! so fragile! so sessy. (sike)

out.

today

jasper is wearing this:and the following happens...

C: Jasper, i think i've seen your jacket in a women's magazine

J: Oh...

C: But i think it's still beautiful

holla! i think you had to be there...

out.

kwanzu

pretty eventful day, let's break it down.

I

started off taking SAT II's at s.i. got there at like 7:48, thought i was late. waited outside until 8:14 until i was put into room proctored by, yet again, another nervous asian lady. she was great. S Chan- i give you my props

II

went to tani's house. did homework, watched wild n' out season one, kinda polar express, Surf Ninjas (where 'kwanzu' comes from), and matilda...on vhs.

had to rewind/fast forward to find the favorite part...when trunchbull goes haywire and throws shotputs all over her house....oh, shotput. if only i could shotput...like trunchbull. and judy chin. oh yeah! saw her at s.i. too. 

BUT the planz were foiled when we went to..

III

.... Emiline Chow's Christmas Spectacular

i thought it'd be a traditional musical but it was like a whole program. it was funny because all of it was in burmese so we were just sitting there and laughing on cue. 

some highlights were:

- rebecca, our master of ceremonies, incorrectly referring to LCD screens as "LDC". then in the musical someone was carrying an iBook box and she yells from the crowd "that's LDC!" hilarious.

- em chow, a.k.a Janiah, doing her strange high-voiced ghetto-girl voice. it was crazy

- the kid who had a toga on...but the toga was a flannel, plaid sheet that was around his ankles

- this line:  "a shard of ice has pierced my heart" - uttered upon being hit by a large snowball (thrown by Janiah...devil)

it was a grand ol' time. crackin up the whole evening

and finally.... derek paw winning a chocolate raffle prize...but the rodent was at winterball so he missed out on everythang

okay sorry no pictures

gots to go memorize 'count your blessings' and wake up on time

out. 

Pop Quiz....F.F.I.

I have found my new catch phrase. let's play a game to decipher it. 

+

+

=

?

Derived straight outta James Joyce's The Dubliners

Fatty'd Funk It, Y'all

out.

does that make me kool/kewt/krazy?

oh snap! beyonce sure can work her weave.

i'm impressed

watch out for similar move(z) in dance ministry and/or 

youth musical 2008: Prison Break-It-DOWN 

black fur-gie

i have just awoken from my post-black friday slumber...ooh wee!

woke up at 3:08 in the am and headed over to JC Penney's

then Sears, Old Navy, Target, and Serramonte.

killer, man!

actually the fam is over for friday thxgiving dinner...think of it as Thanksgiving the Sequel.

so here's a brief overview of the goodies

CAJJJJJJJJJJJJJMERE y'all

had to run for this one....except i didn't

this hot item. interesting story about this one. to follow

yeah. lazy. out.

thank you, pilgrimZ

dee turkey so dry....

...i need to put lotion on the turkey...

...and then lotion on my face as i eat the turkey.

awwww yeee take II

whatsup, readers (all 8 of you)

so today i went to regent thai with my momma

and picked up our cabinet knob (classy). yes, only one.

but the big news is that my father could not wait until

black friday, so he up and bought a new tay-vay! oh shoot

he was stalkin' it at costco and he talked to the manager (forreal,

who does that) and bought it today and on friday he goes in to 

get the black friday price. someone say 'hookup'

so here's a picture of it hangin' out of my uncle's pick-up truck

the thing is SO huge

and that mammoth is of accurate size.

so my brother, dad, and i had to lug it up the stairs

into the house...ooh wee, friends. that thing is heavy.

but i'm excited to hook it up, i'll take more pictures.

MOVIN' ON

uploaded my camera for the first time since ever

and found some...questionable thangs

so it's time for the QUEST(ionable)

Number One: Our resident cute kid, A.F. throwin' up the thumbs up

at lawrence hall of science....in front of a cockroach exhibit

Sorry y'all, photo removed. 

QUESTIONABLE

Number Two: the fool known as christopher trying to be

funny by messin with my camera before thxgiving dinner. 

nice, wife beater.

QUESTIONABLE

Number Three: the so-called horse"man" doing the same

thing....

you look like Ratatouille, buddy.

QUESTIONABLE

alright enough hateration for today.

woot tomorrow's thanksgiving! gonna hook it up with some

parade action tomorrow. then heading over to aunties for some

meat.

out.

aww yea

check this place OUT

longer post later

hateration/holleration

oh shoot! sandisk cruzer flash drive fo' 14.99! that's less than a complete meal at red robbins.

BUT...on thanksgiving dinner night.

what to choose? the fam or the memory stick

NO CONTEST. guess i'll just wait for next sale

reminds me of sunday school...talked about meaninglessness

look up philippians 3:7-11, yo.

IN OTHER NEWS

 this song is off the chain(s are gone)

'happy ending' by mika

it's kinda krayzie. in that creepy falsetto way 

MOVING ON

last night was the American Music AwardZ and i have comprised a list of Upgrades and Downgrades

let us ingest some haterade and begin with the

DOWNGRADEz:

...the actor who plays Doctor Alexander Karev on the dramedy "Grey's Anatomy" gives a shoutout to Fergie whilst presenting an award by saying, out of nowhere "Good job fergie, loved that performance....." The problem with this is that Karev presents about 78 minutes after fergie's performance ends....someone wants to be the new Josh D in Fergie's life.....DOWNGRADE

...t-pain's ridiculous ponytail. 'nuff said. DOWNGRADE

that belongs with this:

...hannah montana giving another shoutout to fergie when she presents viewer's choice award or whatever. but this one is especially bad because hannah montana goes "FERGIE!" as if fergie is her homegirl and hannah montana points at her too. you know what, let me hook it up with some vijjjeo. [be on the lookout at approximately 51 seconds/or i guess it's -1:10 seconds]

and for those that missed it:

i'm just saying..she's ridikulus. DOWNGRADE

ALRIGHT the hateration is over and now it's time for the

UPGRADEz:

...homegirl Martha representing Jesus when high school musical won

UPGRADE

aite, actually that's the only upgrade

ooh wee this took a long time. and it's really wannabe perez hilton, so no more hatin'. only lovin'.

owt.